So the movie starts off with Sam in Prancing Pony drinking a tallboy of Pabst Blue Ribbon hitting on some hipster bitch when he gets a text on his blackberry from Frodo. Frodo's lookin to score some coke and Sam's just the man for the job. Sams not really feelin' the prancing pony anyways and the chick he was hitting on had been making eyes at a human all damn night, which pissed off Sam, but he should have known better, chicks who go to that bar are all about big dickin' it and most hobbits aren't packin' shit.
Sam and Frodo meet up at the Max and grab some fries but all the booths are taken up by some preppy kids so they go out to the patio and find a seat. Frodo casually lights up his pipe and blows a ring, then does that weird thing Gandalf does and blows a boat through the ring right in Sam's ugly fuckin face. Sam asks "so how much you lookin to score?", Frodo slaps 40 silver pennies on the table. Sam notices Frodo is wearing new ring on his finger and a new chain that glitters with diamonds, rubies, doubloons,gold and platinum. "I thought you gave up the game" Sam says, "we've got on last job to do" Frodo replies *smashcut to frodo and sam wearing terminator sunglasses and matching suits walking down the street in slow motion to "little green bag" by george baker*
They arrive at the Mines of Moria late into the night. "You see that small cave on the east side of the mines? It's got a Dragon in it and he's taking a nap Sam", "So whats the plan Frodo?", "Alright so I heard this particular cave is fuckin lousy with Mythril so im going to run in there a shopping cart and load it up real quick, you stand as lookout just in case security shows up.", "got it". Frodo slips on his ring of power and silently creeps into the cave. Two hours pass and Frodo finally makes to the caves entrance. "That was almost too easy" says Sam, "lets hit the Roxberry" Frodo replies. The end.
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